View Full Version : Jokes

09-30-2010, 07:53 PM
Hello Friends, here's a place where you can post one or more Jokes I hope to you'll post one of of your funny Jokes, and maybe it'll bring a grin or a smile or even better a laugh for your posting a good Joke.
I'll be checking here often to maybe get a good laugh from you.
Please be tasteful when posting and also do your best to not offend others when posting a joke alright friends, It's always nice to bring other a laugh and brighten up their day or night Thanks All :D

09-30-2010, 09:19 PM
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. :D

10-01-2010, 01:00 AM
I hope to See some of your Jokes here friends so I can join in on the laughter:D

10-01-2010, 05:23 PM
Hey Post a joke and make me and others laugh alright Movie Friends :)

10-01-2010, 05:24 PM
Q: Why did the Mafia cross the road?
A: Forget about it. can also be said in 1 word = Forgetaboutit :eek:

10-01-2010, 07:39 PM
What is the best hand to write with?
Neither - it's best to write with a pen! :D

10-02-2010, 06:45 PM
"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, I think it's due to drinking." "In that case," replied his patient, "I'll come back when you are sober." :)

10-02-2010, 08:49 PM
Virus Alert

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you as soon as possible. Please share this with others immediately!!

Monica Lewinsky virus........Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Lorena Bobbit virus..........Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Ellen Degeneres virus........Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Titanic virus................Makes your whole computer go down.

Disney virus.................Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Mike Tyson virus.............Quits after one byte.

Prozac virus.......Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Woody Allen virus.........By-passes the motherboard and turns on daughter card.

Joey Buttafuoco virus........Only attacks minor files.

Spice Girl virus.............Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

Ronald Reagan virus..........Saves your data, but forgets

Dr. Kevorkian virus.....Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

Oprah Winfrey virus........Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus........Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

Then there is the Clinton PC. It has a six inch hard drive and no memory.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS- Divides your hard drive into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS- This revolutionary virus doesn't horse around. It warns you of impending disk attack, once if by LAN, twice if by C.

AT&T VIRUS- Every three minutes it reminds you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS- Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much for the AT&T virus.

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS- Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS- Computer locks up, screen splits vertically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

AIRLINE VIRUS- You're in Chicago but your data is in Singapore.

STAR TREK VIRUS- Invades your system and boldly goes where no virus has gone before.

TED TURNER VIRUS- Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

PBS VIRUS-Your PC stops what it is doing every few minutes to ask for money.

10-03-2010, 06:53 AM
What's E.T. short for?

..... cos he's only got little legs :D

10-04-2010, 02:33 AM
Q. What did the spider do on the computer ?
A. Made a website ! :D

10-04-2010, 08:20 AM
paddy comes home from work one evening and his neighbor is waitng for him,
hey! paddy, the whole neighborhood were laughing at you yesterday afternoon, next time your having *** with your wife turn the lights off, paddy says, well the last laughs on you because i wasn't even home then.:eek::D

02-03-2011, 08:41 PM
Can you smell carrot? .................

02-03-2011, 09:07 PM
Can you smell carrot? .................

:) Cute! :)

01-31-2012, 01:03 AM
Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.